Time to feel fierce again – Guest Blog from local Fierce mum Gemma Stow
Honesty time Mumblers – are you doing what YOU really want to do or are you holding back? If we don’t listen to ourselves then this can only end in resentment.
I attended an Empowering Women in Tech event last week in Leeds where I spent the day listening to inspiring speakers and meeting other likeminded ambitious women.
It made me think about how it is so important to come to things like this to open my mind and get clear on what I really want.
I didn’t always do this and when I had my previous business I spent so much time working ‘in’ the business rather than ‘on’ it. Being stuck in the ‘busy’ trap, and juggling that with young children.
I was using the old ‘not enough time’ excuse of being a working mum, and just not getting out and meeting people or taking the time to invest in myself.
And being a mum is tricky to do that because we often feel guilty about taking time out from our families for things that we really want to do – attending events or training that can mean travelling far away from home.
I understand those feelings and I have been there. I have put things off and have regretted it. Regret is huge and I don’t want to do that anymore and I won’t.
I have decided that now is my time to find time for me and it is your time as well.
If you are ready, like really ready to make a change and do work that you love or maybe you have started a business and you are right at the beginning and not sure what your next step is, then I totally get it. It can be a lonely and overwhelming place to be.
The one thing you need to do is invest in yourself – invest the time to go and meet people, be inspired by others, and get whatever the support is that you need to be able to make your dreams a reality.
Because that is what it is all about ladies – making your dreams come true. And if you are reading this thinking that’s just for fairytales, I am here to tell you that it’s not.
The messages I heard when listening to those that have done it all at this event – were basically saying just be you.
Be yourself and do what you really want to do regardless of all those people around you who might not get it or not understand your ideas, this is your journey not theirs.
Sometimes when we become mums we are told it’s not about you anymore and that it ‘should’ all about your children. But that doesn’t make much sense to me.
Because of course I love my children with all my heart, they are my priority, but it is also about me because I have a really bloody important job to do and that is raise my children to the best of my ability.
The best way for me to do that is for me to be the best version of me, and that’s when I am working and loving the work that I am doing, being challenged and feeling excited by meeting new people who are doing crazy things that blow my mind, things that I thought were impossible, and it shows me what can be done.
I am a better mum for choosing to follow my heart, to do work that I love by being me. I can show my children the way and it takes lady balls to invest in yourself and not to feel guilty about it, but you have to invest in yourself now and stop putting off what you can do today.
I invest in myself, I put myself on the line, because I know that it pays off in the long run- anyone who enjoys the fun and excitement of learning new things or understanding themselves more, will understand that you have to put the work in first.
Invest in yourself – you are important and you deserve it. What can you do for you today, so you can feel the way you want to feel?
Three things to consider if you are at a crossroads:
1. What is frustrating you right now? (things you don’t want anymore)
2. What really lights you up and is important to you? (that you could talk about all day long and not get bored)
3. What is really stopping you from getting what you want? (is it real or is it an excuse for something else that’s going on for you?)
If you are more than just a mum and any of this makes sense to you then come and hang out in my private space facebook group with other amazing likeminded Fiercemums that are doing it all.
If you are ready to do something about the things you really want, and ready to figure out what holds you back so you can go forth and do your thing, then consider my #FeelingFierce in four weeks online programme – we start very soon Monday 8th May, take back control and get that support you need to make it happen.
If you have questions then please drop me an email firstname.lastname@example.org there will also be a live Q&A on this prorgamme on Friday in the Fiercemums private group.
Go get what you want, ditch the guilt and say yes to you.